By Nofa Slaeman
In the past, the dominant culture has often described people like me—those who’ve made it from hardship to stability—as resilient. And while I do appreciate the strength I’ve found within myself, I know I wouldn’t be where I am today without community and the threads that are woven throughout.
As someone who left her birthplace at a very young age and became a refugee alongside her parents, I spent a long time feeling unanchored—like I had no place to truly call home. But looking back, I realize that at every stage of my journey, there were people—communities—who helped me move forward, who held me up when I couldn’t do it alone.
Some of those communities are no longer physically present in my life, but they live on in my memories—and in my tattoos. Each one tells a story, marks a moment, honors a connection. So I thought I’d share a few of them with you as an example of the journey of weaving community.
Swallows: A Lesson in Worth
The first piece I want to share is a tattoo of swallows. These birds represent a community of young people and women I had the privilege of working with—people who, despite their own struggles, helped me see myself differently. They taught me about kindness, love, and boundaries in ways I had never experienced before.
Some of these incredible souls are here in Regina, while others are across the world in Romania. Regardless of where they are now, they were instrumental in helping me find meaning, build deep connections, and feel, perhaps for the first time, that I truly belonged—that I had purpose.
They reminded me that even in the midst of chaos, we can be each other’s safe harbor.
Cassette Tape: Echoes of Home
The second tattoo is a cassette tape, a tribute to my childhood in the refugee camp
and my early years in Canada. Back then, staying connected with our family in Iraq meant gathering around a fire or a coffee table, singing songs while my dad played guitar, telling stories, and recording it all on cassette tapes.
Those tapes were our lifeline. They carried our voices, our laughter, our love across continents. I like to imagine that somewhere in the deserts of Iraq, a few of those tapes still exist—maybe even with some nerdy little clips of my childhood voice, floating through time with our family.
That cassette isn’t just a symbol of nostalgia—it’s a reminder of how we held onto joy, how we created home wherever we were, even when everything around us felt uncertain.
Birth Flowers: The Laughter
The last tattoo is a collection of birth flowers, each one representing a sibling or a friend from my early twenties. Some of these relationships have faded over time; with a few, there’s little or no contact now. But at one point, they were my lifeline.
They were the ones who made me laugh through the messiest, hardest days. One friend in particular had this way of showing up, looking me dead in the eye, and saying, “Well, life sucks, then you die.” It sounds dark, but the way she said it—with her infectious laughter—would have you in stitches.
We laughed so hard together—knee-slapping, tears-streaming-down-our-faces kind of laughter. And for a young girl who didn’t know which way to turn, that kind of joy was everything. It was survival.
Ink as a Map of Belonging
Each of these tattoos is more than just ink on skin. They’re markers of the people who shaped me, the places that held me, and the moments that made me feel alive. They’re reminders that even when I felt lost, I was never truly alone.
So yes, I’ve been called resilient. But if I am, it’s because I’ve been loved. I’ve been held. I’ve been part of communities that saw me, even when I couldn’t see myself.
And that’s what I carry with me—on my skin, in my heart, through every chapter of my life and in the community weaving I do as I journey forward.
Through the STOPS to Violence network, we believe that community animation and weaving relationships are central to our commitment to supporting safe communities and healthy relationships in our province.
Join us on September 11, 2025 for ‘Reconnecting Community: A Call to Courage’ – a conference where we’ll explore how to mend and strengthen the fabric of community through relationship, care, and collective leadership. Learn more at STOPS to Violence - Reconnecting Community: A Call to Courage
